Arpita Roy
Decision
The spring I decide
to kill myself,
aged bees, little archaeologists
in uniform, dust dawn.
Everywhere I look,
there’s an uproar of spring:
wise foxgloves, shy lilacs,
wild irises whispering each to each,
the swamp sunflowers lulled
in the precarious half-bruise of sun,
and the cherry blossoms
loose as change.
Evenings, I hear the humming
brook of my roommates.
Residual shreds of winter remain
in the pockets of my dresser.
For weeks I dream,
uninterrupted, of death
and then, of those who love me
and of those, I cannot.
I find the highest ladder
and climb down to pluck
an ancient sun from the heart
of the earth like a seed or thorn.
I obey its discretion.
I follow its shame.
That spring, because
my mother prays for me
often, I find darkness
before my hands find the fruit.
Arpita Roy is an MFA Poetry candidate at George Mason University where she is the Third Year Thesis Poetry Fellow. She has received the Cheuse Center Travel Award and Bread Loaf Katharine Bakeless Nason Award. Arpita is from Kolkata, India.
Return to March 2024 Edition
The spring I decide
to kill myself,
aged bees, little archaeologists
in uniform, dust dawn.
Everywhere I look,
there’s an uproar of spring:
wise foxgloves, shy lilacs,
wild irises whispering each to each,
the swamp sunflowers lulled
in the precarious half-bruise of sun,
and the cherry blossoms
loose as change.
Evenings, I hear the humming
brook of my roommates.
Residual shreds of winter remain
in the pockets of my dresser.
For weeks I dream,
uninterrupted, of death
and then, of those who love me
and of those, I cannot.
I find the highest ladder
and climb down to pluck
an ancient sun from the heart
of the earth like a seed or thorn.
I obey its discretion.
I follow its shame.
That spring, because
my mother prays for me
often, I find darkness
before my hands find the fruit.
Arpita Roy is an MFA Poetry candidate at George Mason University where she is the Third Year Thesis Poetry Fellow. She has received the Cheuse Center Travel Award and Bread Loaf Katharine Bakeless Nason Award. Arpita is from Kolkata, India.
Return to March 2024 Edition